Broken
by Zombie450AriesBournePrincess
Summary: Two broken souls, with secrets of their own, ready to move on and fix the things that had been lost. Can it be done, when each secret uncovered reveals more than the eye can see? Takes place roughly 12 years after the finale.
1. Chapter 1

This was it. The papers she held, were freeing to say the least. Her divorce papers. It was final. The struggle for the past year was over with. The life she hated was no more. She was free to start over. Move any where she wanted to. Go back to work. Go back to the way it should be. Her and her two babies. They were far from babies these days, but to her they would always be her babies, though.

"Mom, someone is at the door." Rory smiled at her 9-year-old daughter. The only good thing about her failed marriage. Her kids. He wanted nothing to do with them. Denied they were even his. She wished it was true. She wanted them to be someone else's. Honestly she had slept with _him, _on two separate occasions. She never saw it as cheating. They were on a break figuring things out. Because she was pregnant both times they stayed together, for the sake of the kids. Enough had been enough. The last 7 years of her life had been a slow ride to hell. She had clawed and climbed, only to be pulled back down into the fire pit of her life. She had given up on everything. Only to be reconnected with an old familiar face.

_"What are you doing, Rory? You have so much to offer the world, and you're gonna lay down and give up. What happened to the Rory I knew? The Rory I had once loved?"_

_"That Rory died long ago." She sighed. "I don't know how to be her any more."_

_"Don't give up. Fight for you, for your kids. It'd be a shame for such an intellectually, talented person to waste away. Fight back." She nodded watching him go. Jess had always showed up in her life when she needed him the most. This time was no different._

"Thanks, Lee." She left her papers on the table and headed for the door. "Lee, did you clean your room?" The girl nodded, her eyes glued on the TV. Rory pulled the door open. She couldn't believe her eyes. The universe was something different alright.

"I'm sorry to bother you, but my phone died and my car broke down. Is it possible I can use your phone?" He asked, never looking at her. She took him in. He had a beard now, his hair was longer, down to his jaw. She was tempted run her hand through his black hair. He had filled out, gained some muscle. He looked incredibly good.

"Jess?" She asked barely above a whisper. He looked up at the sound of her voice. Either this was a cruel joke or the universe loved playing mind games.

"Rory?" He asked, pleasantly surprised. Out of all the places to break down at. She looked thinner, paler even. Her silky soft brown hair was past her shoulders. Her once crystal blue eyes, looked dead. It was if he was looking at a ghost. He wanted to pull her close and hold her until she was back to the Rory Gilmore he had once fallen for.

"Come in." She stepped aside, making room for him to enter. "The phone is in the kitchen." He nodded and followed her. His gaze lingered around the walls, seeing family pictures. It was only ever three of them. Rory and what he could tell were her kids. He had heard the very same kids arguing on his way through. He gave her a little smile taking the phone she held out.

"Mom, Hadley won't share." Rory looked at her 7-year-old boy. Sighing she followed her son.

"Hadley, Kolby, gets a turn, or you won't have the TV for a week," she warned.

"Yes, mother," she sighed, turning to her brother. "Tattletale." Rory let it go and walked back to the kitchen. After all kids will be kids.

"Sorry," Rory told him, getting herself a cup of coffee. "Want some?" She asked holding the pot up. It was good to see that not everything about her had changed.

"Nah, I'm good. It's going to be a while yet. I can wait outside, if you have your hands full," he commented.

"Stay. They're just being, kids," she replied, sitting down. She was quick to cover up the divorce papers. Just not quick enough. He had already glanced at the papers by accident. "How have you been?"

"Good, you?" He asked. It had been years since they last saw each other. They had an awkward night at Luke and Lorelai's wedding. An even worse night a few years later, when she had randomly bumped into him with a mascara streaked face. Things had happened and come morning he saw how bad she really was. He could see now that she had fought, even if it took her longer then necessary.

"I've been ok," she replied. At one point she would have unloaded on him. But now wasn't that time. It had been too long. They couldn't fall back into the safety they use to have.

"Cute kids," he commented. He had heard about them but never had the pleasure of actually seeing them.

"You have any?"

"No," he replied. That was a story for another time and a different place. "Rory, I know it has been sometime, but we have been friends. I can see you need a friend to talk to." She did need a friend. Everyone from Stars Hollow had been cut out of her life, her Mom and Luke had been the only exception. She missed Lane, but to keep her marriage, she had to let them go.

"It's complicated, Jess. I just wanna move on from it all. Look to the future, ya know?" In time she would make the necessary amends and explain the situation.

"Yea," he nodded. He did know. His soul had been broken not all that long ago. If you looked close enough you could see he was still broken.

"You still writing?" She asked, changing the topic with a sip of her coffee.

"I'm trying to figure things out for my new book. It's just not coming together like planned. Amidst all that, I need to find a new editor. My old one," he sighed, anger flicking behind his brown orbs. "Things happen." He left it at that. She was pleasantly happy he was still writing. "I haven't seen any of your work anywhere. What's with that?" He asked moving the topic away from him. He was sure a few articles would have popped up at random. She loved journalism far too much, to really stop.

"Kids," she responded, not wanting to dive into it all. "Keep an eye out though. I'll be back. Once I figure out my next move. New York, just doesn't feel like home any longer." She had far to many bad memories haunting her.

"It's nice to start over," he commented. Rory nodded, playing with her mug. "Going home can always help with that." She nodded, letting him know she had heard him.

Their silent moment had been interrupted by the doorbell. "I think that's for you."

"Right, thanks, Rory." She nodded returning his smile. He scribbled his number down. "Call or whatever. It was nice seeing you again."

"You too, Jess." It wasn't until he was gone she realized just how much she missed him over the years.

With him gone she got busy getting the kids some food for dinner. New York was no longer for her. She had the urge to go home. A smile played on her lips. Stars Hollow, that was the one place she could go and get her life back in order. Things were final and that meant she could go home. She found her cell going to her mom's name.

**I'm coming home!**


	2. Chapter 2

"Sweets, I'm happy you're home, but why the sudden change?" Lorelei asked over a cup of coffee, the kids took to playing outside. Rory was able to see them as they sat on the porch. Lorelai was thrilled to have her daughter home, to have her grand babies there to spoil every single day. Her and Luke had a boy named Jason William Danes, he was the tender age of 11. He liked school, but football and baseball were his passion. Books held very little for him. He wanted to be out in the world living it, rather than reading about it. "Not that you can't come home, it's New York, with your dream job."

"It no longer felt like home. After everything, I need to be home. I'll find a job close by, find my own place. I need this. I need my Mom," she whispered the last part, casting her glance down. She was turning 35 in a few months.

"Honey," Lorelai cooed, moving to hug her daughter. "Luke, says you can stay above the dinner, for as long as you need." Rory nodded her head against her mother's shoulder. She had missed her mom.

"It won't be long," she promised. She had her grandparents money, if she needed it. Losing them was hard on her. She wasn't shocked when she was given 15 million dollars. She put it in the bank and never touched it. They had made sure that her husband wasn't able to touch any of it. She hated using that money. She enjoyed earning her own money. She grew up knowing the value of a penny.

Rory got up to refill her cup of coffee. She smiled slightly seeing her little brother in what had once been her room. The walls that were once covered in Harvard then switched to Yale, now adorned car posters and rock bands. Sitting the empty mug on the counter she ventured over to the room. Her desk, dressers and bed had been long since replaced. Her shelves no longer held books but awards, medals and trophies. She was proud of her brother, for the things he had accomplished so far into his life. He had dreams of being a pro in baseball or football.

"Hey," Rory greeted. Because of the age difference the siblings didn't get along like most siblings. He was closer to his niece and nephew.

"Hey," he acknowledged with a nod of his head. Rory smiled, picking up The Old Man and the Sea. Over the years she had grown fond of Hemingway, if only it meant she was able to hold onto something from her former life.

"I didn't know, you read Hemingway?" Rory asked, placing the book back.

"I don't, Grandpa gave them to me." Rory nodded. She had forgotten that whilst she got most of his books, he had given Jason some as well.

"Right," she replied, turning to leave.

"I'm happy you're back, Ror. Now, Mom can stay off my back." That had caught Rory off guard, she soon joined in with the laughter.

"You still have Luke on your case," she smirked, remembering all the times he had made excuses up to check on her and Jess.

"What's that mean?" He asked, growing petrified of the things his dad could and would do.

"Why should I spoil the fun?" She asked with a glint in her eyes from years past.

"Come on, Ror, you're suppose to have my best interest at heart here. Look out for your little brother," he whined, following her to the kitchen.

"My sibling would drink coffee," she smirked, holding the coffee pot in his face.

"Coffee is nasty," he cringed, making Rory gasp.

"See you're not my sibling," she joked, pouring the black liquid in her mug. "But seriously, your dad gets a bit paranoid, when it comes to you dating. At least he was for me, or maybe it was because of Jess," she pondered. She shrugged, letting the memory go.

"Wait! You dated cousin, Jess?" He asked suddenly feeling sick to his stomach.

"It wasn't like that then. Mom and Luke were only friends. I'm not sure they knew they were in love with each other yet. Even if they were it wouldn't matter, Jess is only my step cousin, related through marriage. It wouldn't be gross or even incest. It'd just be two people in love," she sighed. It wasn't a competition on who loved who first, or who had gotten together first. If there was a slight chance the stars could align themselves for things to work out, she would take it.

"It's still gross," he commented, walking off.

"What's gross?" Lorelai asked stepping into the house.

"That I dated Jess," Rory replied, rolling her eyes.

"Well, sweets," Lorelai spoke slowly.

"Don't even start," she warned. "I'm going to go get things set up at the apartment. Are my kids fine here?"

"Yep, I want to spend some more time with them so I won't let you take them," Lorelai stuck her tongue out, making Rory roll her eyes walking out the door. Her mother was never going to grow up and she was envious of that.

"Rory, doll how long are you and the kids in town for?" Babette asked from her porch. In her old age, she didn't get around nearly as much as she had before. With Morey and Miss Patty both gone, she didn't have much reason to run around and get the latest gossip.

"We're moving back," Rory told her with a smile.

"That's amazing," Babette gushed, getting herself into a coughing fit. Making sure she would be ok, Rory kept going. The town was still picture perfect; the same as when she left years ago. She was relieved that not everything had changed on her.

She stopped dead in her tracks seeing that Stars Hollow's books was for sale. She walked in smiling at Andrew.

"You're selling?" She asked, walking around the bookstore. Memories of Lane, her father, and Jess flooded her mind. It's like she could see each event happening before her very eyes.

"Trying to sell. I don't want to die here," he sighed.

"I'll buy it," she told him walking to the front. "I don't care about the price." Andrew wouldn't jack the price up on her. She had far to many memories to let someone else destroy them on her. She hated that she would be touching her grandparents money, but it was for her future and her kids, so it was alright.

"I have the paper work, we just need Taylor. Do you happen to have 75 dollars?" Rory dug in her pocket, producing the money.

"Don't you want more for this place?" She asked furrowing her brow. It meant more to her than 75 measly bucks.

"I have everything I need at home, I'd give you the place if I could," he told her. Rory nodded.

They had found Taylor walking down the side-walk with the help of a cane. They sat at a table in the diner and went over everything. The papers had been signed and Rory now owned her own business, she would run the bookstore and find a way to still be able to write, she could always free-lance for a while. Now she had to worry about finding a home. With everything taken care of she headed through the curtain.

On one side sat her bed and belongs, along with a couch and a chair, her TV, the kitchen table and chairs. On the side that use to be Jess', then April's now sat two twin sized beds and two dressers. A tub of toys sat in a corner. It was going to be cramped but it would make do for the time being. It had to. Pulling out her phone she went to _his_ name. She was going to need his help with a few things. He was the only that could help her.


	3. Chapter 3

"How'd the meeting go?" Chris asked, sitting a beer down for him. His publisher had set him up with an editor.

"Horrible. All she wanted to do was flirt. She wasn't interested in anything else," he explained, shaking his head. "I need an editor I can trust."

"You could have had a little fun with her before, you walked away," Matt commented.

"The last thing I'm after is to find someone to marry let alone have a one night stand with. It's only been a year," Jess sighed taking a swig of his beer. Even after they had closed Truncheon, they had stayed friends. "I don't need a random hook up either."

"As long as you're happy," Chris told him.

"Look around Jess, any one of these chicks, would be lucky to go home with the great Jess Marino." Jess finished off his beer. He glanced around, no one held his interest. Ever since Rory's sudden appearance in his life days ago, he couldn't stop thinking about her. She looked as broken as he felt.

"I think it's time I take a trip and find myself a new editor." He had the perfect person in mind. He just had to find her first.

"Beer is on you when you get back," Matt smirked. Jess clapped him on the back and walked off. The streets of Philly had grown cold and lonely. People were all around him but he felt so alone. Everything was bland to him. A trip else where was needed.

"Mariano," he said into his phone walking the distance to his apartment.

"I found you a new editor. She's perfect for you, Jess." He shook his head, coming to the building that held his home. He knew who he wanted.

"Derrick, what's her name?" The least he could do was hear him out.

"Lacy..." Or maybe not.

"No. I want Rory Gilmore."

"I've never heard of her. I don't think that's a smart move, Jess. Especially if she's the one that has cost you so much pain before."

"You wouldn't understand. I want the best editor and she's it. Let me worry about everything. I'll take care of everything. She can't cause me the pain and anger Jacob had done. I won't write unless I have her," he explained. His feelings for Rory were still there, in the back of his mind. He would always have feelings for Rory, she was his first love.

"Jess, this is in your hands. You best hope it doesn't blow up in your face."

"It won't," Jess replied, ending the call. He had managed to make it to the door of his apartment, when his phone went off. "Derrick, I'm not changing my mind about this," he answered, without looking to see who was calling him.

"Who's Derrick? And what does he want?" Hearing her sweet voice, had a smirk firmly in place on his lips.

"Secrets, Gilmore." He had wedged the phone between his shoulder, going to unlock the door. "What do I owe this pleasure to?" He asked using his foot to shut the door behind him.

"You should be grateful, it's a huge pleasure to talk to me." He could hear the smile in her voice. "I need some help," she confessed, chewing on her lip.

"Ah, this is where I come in at. What is it you need?" He aimlessly walked around his room tossing clothes into a suitcase. A lot of things had changed since he was 17. He had mainly grew up. But there was things that had never changed.

"A bookstore," came her reply.

"Rory, I'm an accomplished writer and all but I can't buy you a bookstore. With all the books you have, you should be able to open your own bookstore," he smarted off.

"No, I bought a bookstore. You guys had a lot of amazing books."

"We still have a lot of the books. You can have them. Matt and Chris have no need for any books for their bar. What bookstore did you buy?" He walked around his place collecting his laptop and everything else he would need. Collecting his things he headed to his car.

"Stars Hollow's Books." He didn't need to be next to her to know she was grinning like mad.

"You went home." It wasn't a question, it was an observation. Now he knew for sure, where he was headed.

"I went home."

"Huh." He tossed his suitcase and placed his laptop in his car. "I'll try to find away to send you the books, with contact information."

"Thank you, Jess." He nodded despite her being able to see.

"I'll talk to you soon. I'm about ready to head out." He hated having a cell phone as it is, driving with it pressed to his ear made matters worse.

"Ok, bye," she whispered hanging up. Jess tossed his phone on the passenger seat and headed off for Connecticut.

On his way he made a stop to get the boxes full of books for Rory. He had hated putting them in storage, to sit and collect dust. Now they were given another chance to find a home. He took as many as he could and sent a text to Chris letting him know he took a few boxes of the books.

The roads were bare from traffic. One of the perks of traveling later at night. He had time to reflect on everything from his past. Out of everything he wished things had been different with Rory. He couldn't change them now or make up for his actions. Starting something with her didn't seem ideal. He wouldn't pass a chance up, he'd just have to feel things out.

The drive to Stars Hollow had passed rather fast. To fast for his liking. He still wasn't fond of the town but it had grown on him just a tad. He parked his car in the alley by the diner. He searched for the key. Luke had always let him stay in the apartment above of the diner, he didn't think now would be any different. He figured that Rory and her kids would be staying at the Inn.

"Hi." Her voice had him jumping slightly.

"Hi," he replied, turning to look at her. "I thought you would be staying at the Inn." She shook her head. She watched as he ran a hand through his hair.

"You can always stay on the couch," she suggested, making him nodded. For the night he would, tomorrow he would figure something else out.

"Just for the night." Rory nodded and went upstairs, Jess behind her. She had a million questions going through her head, she wanted to ask but refrained from doing so.

Jess had also kept his mouth shut. He wasn't sure if it was his place to ask some of the questions he wanted to ask. He didn't know if Rory would tell him the truth with her kids right there. It was best to hold on and wait.


	4. Chapter 4

Rory couldn't find the courage to ask Jess anything, she stared off at the ceiling in the dark. She couldn't even bring herself to ask what he was doing there. By the time Jess had worked up the courage to say anything, Kolby was yelling for his Mom, after having a nightmare. Jess rolled over, on the uncomfortable couch, waiting for sleep to over take his body and mind.

"Mommy never let's us have pop tarts for breakfast," Lee commented, looking at her plate that held a frosted pastry. "Who are you again?" She asked looking up at the strange man.

"Rory, Lee just inform me that you don't let them eat the one thing you grew up on." Rory stepped into view from the bathroom.

"I wanted to do, I was just told they needed to have a hot breakfast. It was rare if they were allowed to have a bowl of cereal. After a while new habits come along and break the old ones." Being forced to do anything, wasn't her style, but you'll bend over backwards for the one person, you swear is your soul mate. "Jess is a lot of things, and technically he would be your step-cousin, but that's just stupid and lame, so he's just Jess," Rory explained once more to her kids. There was so many other ways she could refer to Jess, but none of that, her kids needed to know, if ever.

"Will we ever see Daddy again?" Kolby asked.

"Bud, I don't know." There was no way she could tell them, that he wanted nothing to do with them, because he didn't think he was their father. She didn't want to get their hopes up either.

"Oooo Grandma's favorite," Lorelai announced walking into the apartment. "Eat up so Grandma can go fill you up on sugar and bring you home," she smirked mischievously. Rory hoped for nothing else. Because her Mom had been her hero, growing up. She wanted the same for her own kids.

"Thanks again for the books, Jess," Rory praised him, closing the door to her bookstore. She wasn't going to change anything, she would rearrange all the books and make room for the new ones, but that was it.

"It's nothing really, they were collecting dust. I'll get the rest of them to you over the upcoming months. Rory?" This was as good as anywhere to ask a question.

"Jess?" She asked back, stopping the work she was doing. "What's going on?"

"Remember how I told you that I needed to find a new editor?" He watched as she nodded. He didn't want to dig any further than he had to. "I need someone I can trust. You were the editor of the Yale Daily News, you can think about this, take the time you need. I was wondering if you could, maybe consider being my editor." She stood frozen from shock. She had her ups and her downs when it came to Jess, this was the last thing she had expected to come from him. Surprised even. Especially with the years that had been wasted between them.

"That's, wow, that's," she sighed, trying to get her brain to function correctly. "A college news paper is nothing like a book, Jess."

"I know, but everything you do, you make sure it's perfect a million times or more. I trust you with this, Rory. I have faith that you'll tell me straight to me face how stupid something is. You won't care about my feelings if something needs to be changed."

"What happened, with your old one?" She asked softly. She was still trying to debate whether this would be a good idea or not.

"I had the best marriage, at least I thought I did. We were having trouble trying to conceive. It had been hard for her Mom and sister as well, but they managed to have kids. I did what I could for her, when I could. But research for my latest book, took me away from home weeks at a time. My old editor, Jacob, he got my wife pregnant." She didn't know what to say to that. She was literally speechless. That had been the most honest he had been with her in just about ever. It had pained him to talk about that. She could see it in his brown eyes. "That was a year ago."

"I'll do it." She was fighting her own inner demons. For the first time in what felt like years she wanted to sit down and tell Jess every thing that had happen with her in the past. Everything that had made her change into the hollow shell, he had seen a little over a year ago. She felt like she needed to share a part of her past with him. "The final straw with Lance, was the fact he kept going on about my kids were never his. To him they where always someone else's. For him to deny them over and over again, to ignore them, it not only caused them pain, but me as well. After a weekend away, he came home accusing me of cheating on him. I guess in a way I had cheated on him twice, with you. I was so sick of him thinking he was so damn untouchable. I told him what he wanted to hear, what I needed to hear. Those kids, they're not his. He was never a father to them. The words that came from his mouth, they should have hurt, but they didn't. Ever since we got married, he had someone else on the side, when he stayed away from home, that's where he was. The thing that hurt, he was a better Dad to her kids then he ever was to his own." That caught Jess off guard. He didn't think that things were that bad between them. He knew they were bad, but never like that.

"Do you ever think, he was right about the kids?" Jess asked carefully. Thinking back on it, everything worked out. Could he be the father? "That they could be my children instead of his?"

"It comes and goes. There are days I look at them and all I see is you. But during my marriage, it took everything inside of me to prove that they were his kids, and he was in the wrong. Because the times we did sleep together, I never saw it as cheating. Even though we were married, we weren't together. I was free to be with who I wanted. The only reason things ever worked out was because I was pregnant. But now honestly, there's a better chance you're the father, then Lance could be." That was something new to him. He could be a father. Just this morning he was a single guy and now, the possibility of having not one but two kids was right there. "I know I should have told you sooner, things might have been differently, if I had."

"Rory, you did what you thought was right. There is no shame in that." He couldn't even be mad at her. Luke had told him the information, if he had stopped for a second and really thought about it, he could have put the dots together. He was angry at himself that he hadn't figured it out sooner.

"We'll get this figured out Jess, I promise." He knew they would, and he would go crazy until it was resolved, but right now this wasn't the most important thing. It was important, but she needed to work on getting herself back. Could he even be a father to two kids he knew nothing about? He needed time to really wrap his head around all of this. He wanted to be a father, when he was married. Things were different now, they weren't babies, they were 9 and 7.

"These books won't unpack themselves."

"Right," Rory agreed getting to work. As selfish as it sounded, she wasn't worried about Jess being their father. She had so many other things in her life that needed to be put back together, before she could even think about finding out the truth. What would she tell her kids? How would you go about explaining something like that to two little kids?

"How do you expect to make any money, if you keep closing the place?" Jess asked, walking the streets with Rory.

"It's lunch time," she stated making it seem like the most logical answer in the world.

"I guess that's where I went wrong, huh?" Hearing her laugh was sweet music to his ears.

With the course of life you can only ever take what you are given. You mess up, it's your duty to fix it. This weekend was more than fixing what had been broke between them repeatedly over the last 18 years. They had both been wrong on more than one occasion. Maybe this time would be differently. Freak occurrences didn't happen as many times as they had been threw back into the others life. There was something bigger here. Neither one knew how to go about discovering the untold truth about each other.


	5. Chapter 5

Lorelai was gracious enough to give Jess a room at the inn free of charge, for as long as he was in town for. Truth be told, with Rory in the apartment above the diner for the time being, he was thinking about renting a smaller apartment, that way he could come and go when he pleased. The best thing about being a writer, he could live anywhere he wanted to. With everything that was going on with Rory, he found he might be needed here. Over the course of the last few days, Rory had only talked to family members and himself. People would stop her on the street and they would talk for a few minutes, but it was never anything to serious. She had only opened up to him that once, not that he had shared any more with her either.

It was one of those days that he couldn't sit down and write, without pulling all his hair out. He needed to be free, that's how he ended up at the diner, watching Rory out the window getting frustrated with every second that ticked by. Kolby and Hadley sat at a table munching down on BP&J's. He took his moment to walk outside, seeing Rory end the call. He went with a big cup of coffee.

"So?" Jess asked, handing the cup over. Rory gave him a smile of thanks.

"He's so frustrating. He swore up and down that he was going to sign his rights away. Now after years of neglect, he wants full custody of them, only after he learns the DNA results. I swear if it isn't one thing with him, it's something else. I'm free of him, but I'm really not." Her fingers played around the rim of her cup.

"Even if they are his, the courts wouldn't be that stupid to give him custody of those kids." Rory dared a look at the diner. A smile gracing her lips.

"They're my world. I can't believe I was so scared of the whole birth process. Not so much scared as grossed out by it. I always wanted one or two more. The whole being pregnant thing, isn't that bad. Being able to feel them, hear them, it's pretty amazing, ya know?" He didn't know and she felt really stupid in asking him that. She might have already ruined that experience for him twice. "I'm sorry, not thinking right."

"My head would be far worse, if I was dealing with the things you are. I hated being an only child, I still barely know Doula, it took me a long time to even consider having kids. My parents were never the best, but I can't go on them. I kinda saw how happy a child can make you. I never put any thought into how many," he shrugged.

"They make you happy one second and the next it's like you want to run away for a few hours. But I love them with my whole heart."

"You're not going through this alone, Rory. You have a whole town behind you, family, and if it means anything, I'm here." He let his hand rest on her knee, giving it a gentle squeeze.

"It means a lot to me, Jess. It's hard to talk to anyone about any of this, but with you it comes easy," she replied, curling her fingers around his. "I have to go to Hartford tomorrow and talk to a lawyer. Would it be ok if you came with? Don't think for a second you have to, because you don't." It was his chuckles that got her to stop her rambling.

"It's ok, I don't mind. You have plans for the rest of the day?" Rory shook her head. At some point she would have to open the book store longer than a few hours, but right now, she wanted to live her life and have fun with her kids.

"I did want to do something with the kids, but I'm not sure what."

"They have this sidewalk fair in Woodbridge. The kids would like that. Face painting, games and all the junk food a kid loves." She remembered a time she couldn't drag Jess to an event like that by his ear. It had been Dean that made him come along.

"That sounds like fun. Plus it'll wear the tikes out." It warmed her heart to do something like this with her kids. Other than a book fair, she had never taken her kids to a fair or a carnival. The only time they ever went was when they would spend time with Lorelai in Stars Hollow. At the same time of feeling thrilled to be do something with not only her kids but Jess too, it felt kind of dangerous all the same. It was Woodbridge, Taylor Doose's sworn enemy.

Rory was amused as to how fast her youngest had taken to Jess. It was his hand he had to hold. If he needed help it was Jess he went to. Her oldest was a tad standoffish around him. She already had a father and it wasn't Jess. She had very few faint memories from when she was little that her father was actually a Dad to her.

"I just don't understand why he had to come," Lee commented, standing in line for some cotton candy.

"It was his idea, Lee. He's not trying to be your father, he's just trying to be a friend to me. You actually have things in common with him."

"Like?" Lee asked annoyed with a slight hint of curiosity to her voice.

"Like Washington Square Park, was his place to read before it was ever mine and yours. He loves Hemingway more than you do."

"Not possible," Lee defended. Rory had always taken her to Washington Square Park throughout her childhood and read to her. Once she could read herself she would pick the book she wanted to read. She had stumbled upon the books in her Mom's room and read them in secret not wanting to get into trouble for snooping. Rory didn't mind, she wasn't going to make her daughter read books that she had only liked. Everyone had different tastes.

"You ask him. I remember days where he tried to convince me that Hemingway was better than Rand." Lee couldn't remember a time she ever saw her Mom this happy. "He knows everything about that man."

"You guys have quite the past don't you?"

"3 cotton candies please?" Rory asked, handing the money over. "Like you wouldn't believe Lee," Rory relied with a sigh. She handed over a bag to Lee. She couldn't help but think that maybe Jess was an alright guy.

"Mom says Washington Square Park was your place, she also said you love Hemingway more than I do," Hadley rattled off.

"Did she now?" Jess questioned, shooting a smirk Rory's way. "Did you know that Hadley was the name of his first wife?"

"No way! Mom did you know that?" Lee asked excitedly.

"I did know that."

"We reading Hemingway in the closet, are we?" Jess smirked. Rory shrugged.

"Maybe the man has grown on me after all these years. Kole, Lee, want face paint before we go?"

"I want a butterfly, Mom," Lee excitedly announced.

"That's so girly, I want a dragon."

"They sure are something else," Jess commented, watching sticky fingers dig for more surgery goodness. "You're Mom is going to be disappointed, you didn't get her any." Rory finished her bag off.

"She'll get over it, I think." She turned to look at her sticky kids, a smile firmly in place. "It didn't take much for them to like you. Not that it's a bad thing or anything, it's good, I just didn't expect it. But I guess they are their mother's children, in that aspect." He smirked, stealing a glance at Rory. This was something he could easily get use to, with personal problems set aside, but with secrets between them, it wouldn't happen over night. He wasn't looking for a family, he just happened to stumble upon one. Maybe they needed him just as much as he needed them.

"They are definitely your kids, Rory. Honestly I wasn't expecting it either. But I guess I'm cooler than I thought," he smirked cockily. Rory playfully rolled her eyes with a small snort. She wasn't going to say anything.

"You are going to be the death of Taylor, going to the fair in Woodbridge. Did you bring, Mommy back any?" Lorelai asked the second they walked into the diner.

"Here, Grandma, you can have the last of mine," Kolby said, handing his half eaten bag of cotton candy over. He wasn't much for sweets like his mom, grandma and sister. They would tease him about it, but Luke had been there to stick up for him. No one wanted to mess with Luke, except for Lorelai and Rory, but that was just everyday stuff for the two of them.

"Go wash up," Rory told her majorly sticky kids. They rushed off upstairs. Jess headed behind the counter.

"What was with the sudden impromptu trip?" Lorelai asked, turning as serious as one could with stuffing cloud like surgery puffiness into ones mouth.

"Lance, he suddenly wants the kids. I meet with my lawyer tomorrow in Hartford. It was Jess' idea to go, help keep my mind off it all. Go out and have fun with the kids. We all enjoyed the day, Jess was amazing with them," Rory gushed.

"I don't know what's going on between you and Jess, but please be careful, Sweets. You just got out of a marriage, it may not have been the best one but the ink is still drying. It's clear that Lance isn't done with you just yet. Please for your mother's senile mind, be careful, not only with Jess but everything with Lance." Rory sighed looking down. She knew what her Mom was getting at with both Jess and Lance and she hated it. She smiled gratefully at Jess when he brought her a big streaming cup of coffee. Could she drag him along this path, knowing what could happen? Sadly, she couldn't do that.


	6. Chapter 6

"I hate this!" Rory huffed, slumping against the back of the both. Coffee wasn't going to settle the nerves that were present in her stomach.

"We just have to go in and get a test done, both lawyers will be present. It's not that bad, Rory." She shook her head.

"You don't understand, Jess. There are things about Lance. Things that I would rather have stay where they are. Why do you think, I tried so hard, to make you stay this morning. I can't willingly put you in the line of fire." His warm palm against the top of her hand, calmed her nerves.

"You're not, I'm doing this willingly, because you need me. I can handle my own against Lance. I ain't scared of anyone." His words did very little to comfort her. She knew what Lance was capable of doing. She knew very little of Jess' past life.

"I worry because I know what he can do, I worry because after all these years, I still care about you, Jess."

"I care about you to, Rory." She believed him. And it touched her heart, it did, but trust was a hard thing to come by her these days. He played a part in her trust issues. She had thought she was over that, and for the most part, she was, it had started with him and crumbled bit by bit over the years. "What did he do to break you?" Jess asked in a hushed whisper. Rory signed, running a hand through her hair.

"Everything plus more," she responded walking out the door.

It was mere seconds later when Jess joined her in the car. With as shaky as she felt, it was best to let Jess drive. The downside, she didn't have a say in where they went. She frowned seeing the bus stop, that either brought her to Chilton or took her home. She always found the silence between her and Jess therapeutic in away, right now it felt heavy, like at any second it was going to crush her. She couldn't figure out why he would bring her here for.

"This is the place where I screwed up at. I couldn't face the thought of you thinking less of me, like I was nothing. I never thought you would forgive me for leaving you that day. I should have explained it to you, chased after you, made you see things my way. You would have, there's no doubt about that, all I proved to you or anyone that day is how big of a failure I really was. I'm sorry I hurt you that day, Rory." She was taken by surprise, with each word that spewed from his mouth.

"It wasn't just you," she whispered, her eyes staying on the lone bench. "I knew you back then, I knew something was wrong. I just ignored it thinking it would go away. I guess on some level I was right, you left. You had to do what was right for you. I never once thought you were a failure, Jess. You were lost, you had to find yourself, and you did." It sounded better the way she explained it. Maybe if they worked through everything that had gone wrong with them, they could work on everything else. "He made me feel like I was nothing, not even his wife. I had to give up everything for him, he gave up nothing, the worse part, I thought it was ok. How screwed up, am I?"

When they were dating, he was the sweetest man in the world, he gave Rory everything. Praised her on every article she had written. Promised her the world. It turned sour the second she said I do.

"You're not screwed up. You didn't know he was a monster under that cheesy smile he wore."

"I should have!" She demanded. "His stupid promises, they never stuck. He always broke them." It hurt him to hear how badly Rory was. He wanted her to have a peace of mind about everything. "That day I told you no in my dorm, I didn't mean it."

"I know."

"Kissing you at Truncheon, it wasn't just about getting back at Logan, for what he did to me." It was this confession that took him off guard. "I wanted to kiss you, I didn't want to hurt you. I wanted to break up with Logan and come back to you. But I didn't think I could bear seeing you again after I had hurt you. You deserved so much better than I could have given you then." He sat absorbed in his own thoughts. Life could have been different, they had always taken the road less traveled when it came to them. Years later here they sat. Anything was possible, with time.

"Honestly, I wasn't all that hurt by it. It stung, hurt my pride, my ego took a huge hit. But that was us back then." She knew it was true. She had to wonder if this was going to end the same. She tried to push him away, because she didn't want him to get hurt, but he was determined to be here. Maybe things would be different this time, if only she could get rid of Lance once and for all.

"No matter how long we sit here, all we can do is learn from the mistakes we made, we can't change what happened. It's what makes us, us," she told him with a smile. "Mom and Luke were taking the kids on a trip until tomorrow, why don't we go on our own little adventure?" She asked with a smirk.

"Where do suppose we go?" It was always good when you could find the time to escape everything going on in your life and get away for a few hours.

"Where the road takes us, except New York. I can't go back there," she told him with a lightheartedness before turning serious.

"I got it," he replied. "Do you want to go home first and get things?" He asked before moving from the spot they were parked in.

"I have everything, if you do," she told him. Jess pulled from the spot and headed in the opposite direction of New York. He didn't know where they were going, but he was going with Rory, to escape what they had been through as of late.

"I kept Hemingway, because I needed something from my past to be present in my future. As odd as it sounds, Hemingway with some Oliver Twist threw in, it gave me hope, if only for a second. But it was you, the you I had fallen for. Your books helped, I loved that you always gave me the first copy, why did you?" She asked turning to look at him. He would give the book to Lorelai and she would give it to Rory.

"You are the only person that knew how great it is to have that one. It's my way of giving you something back. You didn't give up on me, when everyone else had. I treated you like shit and you still were my biggest supporter. I don't know anyone else that deserves to have the very first book." It had meant a lot to her.

"I'm touched Jess," she told him, feeling the butterflies start to flutter in the pit of her stomach. It had been years since she felt it. It felt strange, like she was going to be sick. She was forced to scold herself. She couldn't let anything happen with Jess.


	7. Chapter 7

_"Where the hell where you? I'll tell you where!" Lance yelled, his voice filled with anger. "You sure in the fuck weren't at home, taking care of that damn child you had to have. You weren't at home, making sure your husband was taken care of. You were out running around the town acting like the tramp you truly are!" Lance was 6 feet even, with light red hair. He was 186 pounds of muscle. His green eyes pierced through Rory's blue ones. She hadn't expected him to be home early. At that very moment she was happy that Hadley was across the street with the sitter. She had rushed home to start dinner, before getting her daughter._

_"I have a job too!" She yelled in protest._

_"No you had a job," he seethed, trapping Rory against the wall. He roughly grabbed her chin, forcing her to look at him. "I expect dinner to be on the table when I get home. I best be able to still see the fucking steam coming from my plate." He gave her a shove, sending her to the floor. He stalked off slamming the door behind him, leaving Rory a crying mess._

_Rory picked herself up, tears running rapidly down her face. She went upstairs packing a bag for her and Hadley. She rushed across the street getting her baby girl._

_She had made it out of New York, before turning around and going home. He didn't mean it. She made him mad. She should have been home taking care of there daughter. Dinner should have been on the table when he got home. Funny how life turns out. She was running back to take orders from the man she loves. She kept telling herself, that this wasn't him, that he was under a lot of pressure._

Jess was alerted by the sobs that came from the bed next to his. He had gotten an idea for his newest book and took to writing it out on some napkins they had left over from dinner. He didn't have his laptop, that was back in Stars Hollow. He dropped his pen, giving Rory his full attention when she started to mumble inaudibly in her sleep. He sat on the edge of her bed, gently touching her shoulder.

"No, Lance don't do it. NO!" She screamed, sweat forming all over her body.

"Rory, wake up," Jess told her with a gentle shake. Her eyes snapped open, bring her back to reality. She moved into Jess needing to feel safe.

"I didn't wake you, did I?" She asked, staring off into the distance at what the little lamp had illuminated.

"No, an idea hit me, you know us writer's." Jess wasn't going to make her talk about anything that made her uncomfortable.

They had drove a little over 3 hours to Portland, Maine. They had stopped in Boston, so Rory could get an authentic Boston Creme pie. Jess didn't question her, instead he joined her, having dessert. She had rambled on all the way through Massachusetts about everything she would love to do, but she wanted her kids to be with her. After they arrived, they had got some take out and headed to the hotel room, both equally drained from the events of the day.

"It's only fair you share with your editor," she told him, pointedly.

"Uh yes, but no can do," he remarked. "It's a bunch of nothing," he replied, keeping her from begging him.

"How much easier would life have been if I had ran away with you," Rory pondered, playing with the corner of the blanket.

"We would have grew to hate each other, that's a fact. It's better this way. Can't you see that?" How was she suppose to see that? The last part of her life had been like living in hell. But that was better.

"Yeah, because living in hell is better than living in heaven," she retorted, moving away from him. Maybe things wouldn't work out the way she had hoped. Other then friendship, she didn't know what else to expect from Jess. She hadn't expected all her old feelings that had been locked away to return in full after one fun filled day with him and her kids. But they had. But, he had other ideas in mind. Maybe, he only wanted her as his editor. She'd have to get over her feelings and fast.

"That's not what I meant. My life was no where near perfect, Rory. You have to experience the bad in order to cherish the good, or some crap like that." Hearing him put it that way, showed her that it wasn't what she had thought.

"You never talk about it," she whispered. She had been such an open book when it came to her past, but she had only got one little thing from him.

"It happened last year. I'm over it. The marriage failed because of her. There was nothing I could do about that, Rory. I didn't want to live in a loveless marriage. With the idea of her running out the second I left the house." She supposed he was right. She didn't want to live that way either. Sometimes it's better to live in ignorance.

"I remember a time when I was dating Dean and we argued over Donna Reed. I'm all for women equality, but with Lance, I wanted our marriage to work. He took and I gave and he wanted more. I left countless times only to go running back. I was weak," she sighed, afraid to hear what Jess would say.

"You'll get over that, Rory. You're getting your life back, now. That's what important. You're strong, Rory. You had the guts to leave him. That's what counts." It may have been years, but hearing about Rory play house with Dean, made his jealousy come out in full force. This wasn't the time to act on his feelings. He knew this time, he would wait for her. It was hard to say how much time either one had left, but with everything he has gone through, one thing remained the same. He wanted to grow old with Lorelai Leigh Gilmore. "The world breaks everyone, and afterward, some are strong at the broken places."

"Ernest Hemingway," Rory retorted, with a knowing look. "Sometimes, I wonder how true that really is."


	8. Chapter 8

**Sorry for the small delay with this chapter. I have no excuses. Thanks to everyone that has taken the time to leave a review. They honestly helped me out.**

* * *

It had been a week since her impromptu trip with Jess. Rory felt like she needed to distance herself from him. She started to spend time at get bookstore, getting things set up. She couldn't make money if she kept the place closed. Lorelai kept trying to get information from her daughter about what happened. It was hard to believe that nothing happened.

"For the last week you have been avoiding him sweets," Lorelai tried once more. They were nowhere near the way they had been at one time. Rory kept most things to herself, with reason.

"I have a job, Mom. I have a business to run," Rory argued back, picking up a stack of books to place on the shelves. "He has a job to. What do want me to say? That we spent the whole time locked away in bed? Because that'd be a lie. Nothing happened."

"Sweets nothing physical had to have happened. Something else within you did. Is this about what I said, that you need to be careful, because Lance will do whatever?" Lorelai asked, following behind her daughter. The way Rory had cringed made her sense that she was dead on. "I wanted you to be careful not send Jess on a one way ticket out of your life." Was she sending Jess out of her life? She was trying to protect him, or was she getting to protect herself?

"I know!" Rory shouted, slamming the books down. "I know Jess can handle himself, but I can't," she explained angry at herself. "If my feelings become more prominent for Jess I won't be able to control how I act around Lance and the hearings. I can't risk my kids like that."

"Oh, sweetie," Lorelai cooed, going to hug her daughter. "You can't bury your feelings or ignore them hoping they vanish. You need to take action. Lance won't get to you, not if you have Jess there, feelings all sorted out."

"It doesn't work like that, Mom. I wished it did, but it doesn't," Rory sighed. She wanted to feel safe in Jess' arms. Feel the strength he could give her. But if she went into this with her head a mess Lance would use it against her and find new ways to hurt her and she couldn't risk that. Her kids were her life.

"Sweetie it can work like that. You need to figure out where your feelings are for Jess, before it ruins you." Rory nodded, tired of fighting with her mom. Her feelings for Jess were multiplying, but she didn't want to put her heart on the line, to get hurt all over again. She preferred to live in her little cocoon were she felt safe and secure. She couldn't let herself get mixed up with Jess at this point in her life, not when she needed to stay focused. "You don't have to do anything about it today or even tomorrow, just think about it, okay?"

"Yeah, I will." Lying to her mother was never ideal and she still hated it, but with the years it became easier. It had felt like she was able to breathe again the second the door closed behind her mom. She wanted nothing more than to run to Jess but she needed a clear head about this whole ordeal. But would it be that easy, to forget the pull she had for him? "What am I gonna do?" She asked with a sigh, going back to putting books away.

"Do what?" She cringed sightly hearing his voice. The last week she head been able to avoid him and that's saying something considering it was Stars Hollow and she lived above the diner, where he helped Luke most days.

"What brings you by?" Rory asked, turning to face him.

"Coffee," he replied, holding a cup up from the diner.

"But you don't drink coffee," Rory pointed out, walking behind the counter. The aroma of Luke's coffee made her mouth water.

"No, but you do. What's going on?" He asked placing the cup on the counter.

"My head is a mess Jess. I don't know what it is I want or what is real. I just wanna go on about my life and get one problem solved before starting on a different problem," she explained, noting the hurt on his face. "What?"

"You're right. You have to focus on your kids and on Lance and you don't have time for me, your friend. As my editor, will you have time for that?" He scoffed walking to the door. "Or did I make a mistake in asking you?" For the past week he had been in a sour mood. He wrote at Luke's when he wasn't helping out, hoping that he would catch a glimpse of her but, she left early and came back after the diner was closed for the night. He had thought they were finally on the same page, but he thought wrong, once again.

"Jess, I'm always going to have time for you, but I need a clear head to think until Lance is out of the picture. My kids they're my life Jess and I can't lose them." She needed him to see where she was coming from. He had to understand that her kids were her top priority.

"They might be mine, Rory. Than what? This is all Lance has to get back at you. One final pull to hurt you. And you're letting it hurt you. You can have the best of both worlds. Can't you see that?" He asked, walking out, leaving her alone to her thoughts once more.

She wanted to be with Jess and with the way he had just acted, he could feel the same way about her, but Lance was vindictive, he was cruel under that sweet and charming smile he wore. She wasn't going to put anything past him. How much time had to pass before she could have the love she had lost at the age of 18?

"This is a nice little place you have here. I'd hate for you to lose it all." Rory's face paled. There was no way he could be here. Not now, not after everything he had put her through. Gulping she turned around to see that her nightmare was coming true.


	9. Chapter 9

It was in the mid 60's but everything about Rory was frozen. She couldn't think, and there was no way she could move from the spot she was in. It wasn't like she had vanished from the grid, she wasn't hiding from anyone. But for him to show up like this, it wasn't good.

"Now that cat has your tongue," he smirked, sauntering closer. "You've always had something to say. Very vocal," he winked.

"What is it you want, Lance?" Rory asked, crossing her arms over her chest. She didn't have to deal with him now. She was free of him, even if he still held this lock on her. Her insides stopped working feeling his icy, slimy fingers brush against her fore arm. His fingers digging into her cheek. She went to shove his hand away only he grab her arm twisting.

"I want to cause you all the pain I can. No one walks away from me," he growled in her ear. "If they do, they don't live to tell about it."

"For their whole lives, you wanted nothing to do with them. You're really going to make them suffer just to get back at me?" Rory asked, feeling her stomach turn, the pain in her arm shot through her body, but she ignored the pain, not wanting to show him any sign of weakness. "That's just sick, even for you." She wanted to see the side of him she had fallen for. They guy that loved her, the guy that refused to let her do anything by herself, because he was a gentlemen and Rory needed to be treated like the lady she truly was. Now she saw how big of a lie that all was. But he made her feel so free.

"They wouldn't be suffering, they would be with their father."

"You're not their father, in anyway." At this point no matter how selfish it sounded, she wanted her kids to be Jess', and not Lance. Jess wouldn't want to take them away from her.

"No. That's something we'll find out together. Then I'll have your kids and I'll have you back." Every thought, every emotion drained from her body.

"You'll never have me or my kids," she spat, the venom in her voice made it hard for her to recognize her own voice. He smirked, sending her a wink on his way out. All Rory wanted to do was go home and curl up under her blanket and cry. Not that she had that chance.

"Is this a bad time?"

"We can come back. It's just that Jess had called us wanting to being the rest of the books for you."

"It's fine, really. Just place the boxes over there," Rory told them, pointing to an empty corner. They looked familiar but names weren't coming to her. They were friends of Jess, so that narrowed it down. But it had been so long since she had met any of his friends. "Thanks," she told them seeing ten boxes sitting in the corner.

"Matt and Chris, ya know from Truncheon Books?" That's all it took to make herself feel even stupider. Hearing their names brought back what little memories she had from meeting them the night she single handily ruined her and Jess.

"I do know, sorry, it's been a..." she didn't even know how to describe her day. It was by far worse than hell could ever be. Jess was mad at her, her ex showed up out of the blue. Matt and Chris bringing her books was the best part of her day so far. "I need caffeine and I'll show you where Jess is." He liked to help Luke out if he wasn't busy writing. It was the least she could do for them bringing her books.

"He told us we could find him at Luke's. It shouldn't be that hard to find the place in this small town." She knew they would be fine, but she insisted taking them, giving them a tour of town, knowing Jess wouldn't do something like that. Stars Hollow was still very much her home.

Jess was wiping down the counter, the same spot had been wiped for the last 20 minutes. Luke had to take the rag away. There was a lull in service, everyone was still full from lunch. Luke knew something was wrong worth his nephew, and he knew the cause of it.

"Jess, whatever happened, you have to let out go. She's not that 16-year-old girl you feel in love with. Lance he changed her, and not in the best way. Now that she is free from him, she's trying to find herself. You need to give her time." Jess had heard his uncle, but she had blown him off. She had good reason to do so, but he was only trying to help her. To lend a shoulder.

"Huh," he remarked, resorting back to his old 17-year-old way of dealing with things he didn't want to talk about.

"Jess, give her a chance to at least apologize to you. It won't do you any good if you walk away now. Not after..." the words fell from his mouth seeing the look of hurt and betrayal on his nephew's face.

"She cheated on me. I did nothing but work to support her. I followed my dream."

"The dream Rory put in your head. That's not it Jess and you know it. She could sense that she wasn't enough for you, because she wasn't..."

"Rory, tell me you've seen Rory!" Lorelai was a mess. There was no mistaking Lance. "Kolby and Hadley, where are they?"

"We haven't seen Rory, but the tikes are over there in the corner," Jess responded, pointing. Even though he was mad at Rory, he still cared, he still loves her.

"Oh God, please tell me that he didn't get her!" Jess couldn't remember a time that he had ever saw Lorelai like this. It was making him want to freak out, not knowing what was going on with Rory.

"What's going on, Lor?" Luke asked. Lorelai never replied turning to see her daughter walk in. Lorelai had crushed her daughter's body to her own, relief flushed through her.

"You have to get far away and fast," Lorelai demanded ready to shove her daughter out the door.

"He already found me," Rory responded, avoiding eye contact with every one, pulling her Mom of to the side. As much as she liked Matt and Chris, she wasn't ready to share her past with them.

Jess didn't need to hear the name of the man in question. Just knowing that dick was in town and it made his blood boil. The old him would have ran out and beat the guy up. Right now the most he could do was give her a cup of coffee.

"I can't believe that jerk bag threatened you like that with your kids," Lorelai huffed. That had his interested. He had looked to see what Matt and Chris were doing and they were busy annoying Luke.

"It doesn't shock me. Nothing he does, shocks me. I can't wait until this is behind me and I can move on with my life."

"Sweets, I think it would be best if..." the words died from her mouth finally recognizing Jess.

"Just feeding the ill," he smirked, holding the coffee pot up. He turned to go hearing Rory's voice.

"I don't need anyone to watch me. I can handle myself. The only way he can hurt me is through my kids." He really did want to take the pain away. She didn't deserve what this Lance guy was putting her through. But yet he couldn't help but feel guilty on some level.

Rory had spent the rest of her day locked way in the bookstore, not wanting to deal with anyone else. She had a coffee maker at the counter. The boxes of books kept her busy. Anything to keep her mind free of Lance and his sick and twisted ways. When all the books found their way onto the shelves, Rory called it a night. The town was dark and nothing was open when she stepped into the chill of the night air.

With Rory still gone Jess had gotten the kids ready for bed. It gave him a small glimpse of being a father. With them down for the count, he had made his way down to the diner to wait for Rory. He hated that Luke had nailed his failed marriage on the head. Things had been good in the beginning, but there was that something special missing. He tried not to compare her to Rory, but at times it happened. He didn't love her as much as he loved Rory. So the cheating, it wasn't that big of a surprise.

"What are you doing here?" Rory asked, locking the door behind her.

"The kids. They're both asleep." Rory nodded, his words of having it all flashed through her mind. Seeing Jess playing the father role broke through the wall that had been built around her heart.

"Thanks," she whispered, moving closer to him. "For the books and with the kids. Maybe you're right," she told him kissing his cheek, letting her lips linger a few seconds. "Night, Jess," she whispered, walking to the curtain.

"Night Rory," Jess called to her. He cleaned up his little mess and headed out. The last thing he needed tonight was for Matt and Chris to hassle him about Rory. He knew it would be coming before they leave in a few days. He honestly didn't know the answers to the questions they were sure to ask. He didn't know what was going on with Rory. He knew what he wanted to happen, but the rest it was such a mess at the moment. Maybe Rory was right about her needing to deal with the whole Lance thing before she could move forward. Maybe Luke was right about her trying to find herself after being lost for so many years. That's what he had to do. Time, that's what he to do after his life turned upside down. He just hated that they had already wasted so much of it.


	10. Chapter 10

"Mom, are you okay?" Kolby asked, eating his cereal. Rory gave her kids a smile. They weren't stupid, they were able to see that something was off with her. If she tried to lie to them, they would only call her out. She just didn't know how to tell them the truth. The last thing she wanted was for them to worry about something that they can't control.

"I'm okay," she told them placing her mug on the table, the dark content swishing around its confines. "Finish eating, both of you. We have to enroll both of you into school, go to Hartford and get school stuff," she informed them, earning moans and groans of protest. For the first time in days she had a real smile on her face. She had seen very little of Jess, the last few days. The town was still standing, but he seemed to be locked up in his own apartment. She sighed taking her surroundings in. That's what she had to do after she got back.

She tried to keep her mind off everything with Lance and thus far it had worked, until she closed her eyes wanting to sleep. Then it played on constant repeat in her head. She hadn't seem him since. She really hoped that he had crawled back into the hole he called home.

"Do we have to?" Hadley asked, giving her Mom puppy eyes. The same puppy eyes Rory had used growing up.

"Yes, we have to. I thought you guys liked school?"

"Yeah, when we had plenty of friends and weren't the new strange kids in town," Hadley whined. Rory sighed. She didn't know that anyone had thought of her kids that way. Her mind had wandered to Jess, when he first showed up, and how out of place he looked.

"Once they get to know you, they'll like you, I promise," Rory assured them, placing her now empty coffee mug in the sink. She ushered her kids down the stairs. Her heart had skipped a beat seeing Jess walk in.

"Please Jess, you have to come with us. Don't let us suffer," Hadley begged.

"Please Jess?" Kolby asked.

"Enough, he doesn't have to come. I think he might have something better to do than tag along."

"Whatcha guys doing?" He had been so cramped in his apartment the last few days due to the interrogation from Matt and Chris. When they weren't giving him the fifth degree, he was busy typing away. Anything to keep the kiss from entering his mind along with Lance. The busier his mind kept him with work the better he seemed to be. But now he needed the break and if he could spend the day with Rory and her kids, keeping an eye on them without her being none the wiser, he was game. Not that he had to be protecting her to spend the day with her.

"School stuff," Kolby pouted, hating the idea that it was almost time for his summer to be over.

"I need to get them registered and their school stuff, and then when we get back I have to find a bigger place to live. Then after all of that I have an article on the upcoming election to work on." Saying everything she had to do, showed she was driving herself pretty thin, but the more work to deal with the less time she had to worry about Lance and her rapidly growing feelings for Jess.

"You should slow down and really enjoy life," Jess challenged. "I'd be more than happy to go and help in any way that I can. I can be of service all day." It wasn't until the words left his mouth that he started to regret saying them. Rory might not want him to come with. It was possible that she might want to spend time with her kids. "If you want," he added more as an after thought.

"If I need to slow down then so do you, you are older than me, learn to enjoy life, Jess," she joked. "That would be nice, once you get Hadley into a store, you can't get her out and I don't think that Kolby wants to be caught in girl clothes for over an hour or longer. But Jess, you don't have to come if you don't want to." She wasn't going to force him in going with them. This was up to him. Though she had to admit that it would be nice to have his company and get things sorted out the rest of the way. Things seemed to be good between them, but Rory could feel the shift of tension in the air around them.

"That's no way to get on my good side, calling me old," he smirked, a playful tone to his voice. She moved closer so she could whisper in his ear.

"Maybe I don't want the good side, ever think of that?" She asked, a smirk firmly in place as she pulled away, catching surprise on his face. She laughed watching him shift from the effects off her words.

"You being for real?" He asked, regaining his composure. She shrugged, getting her kids out the door. Jess followed, his mind racing on if she was just playing or if she was being serious about it. He couldn't tell but he was going to have fun trying to figure it out.

Never in his wildest dreams would he have thought taking two kids to the mall to get clothes and supplies would be worse than dealing with TJ for an hour. One second they would like what they had got and the next they no longer liked it. He swore he would have a head full of gray hair before they ever made the register. He was starting to be thankful that he wasn't like that growing up. Band tees and jeans had worked just fine for him. It wasn't until he had to dress more professional that he ditched the tees and jeans while at work.

"He's impossible," Jess muttered to Rory as they got food from the food court. Rory let a giggle out.

"Trust me she wasn't any better," she told him. They had looked at every article of clothing on every single rack what felt like a million times, but they had finally found all the right outfits, after countless trips to the changing room.

"I'm free if you need help finding the right place. Sometimes another pair of eyes really helps a person." Rory rested her hands on his, feeling a million tiny lightning bolts, jolt through her hand. It was getting harder to avoid what was between them.

"That would be nice, really," she smiled. Jess returned the smile.

"Jess, I need to use the bathroom," Kolby whined. Jess nodded getting up, to take the boy to the restrooms.

"Sickening," Hadley muttered under her breath loud enough for her Mom to hear her.

"What was that?" Rory asked amused with her daughter.

"I've never seen you so in love. Not even with Dad. With him it seemed like an act compared to Jess. Are you guys going to date? It would be okay, I like him, he's cool and all. Plus he's nice to us when you're not around." That had piqued her interest. She had never left them alone with anyone other her Mom, Luke, the babysitter and Lance on two different occasions.

"Has anyone ever been mean to you, when Mommy wasn't around?" Her concern was getting to the bottom of this. Her daughter had yet to lie to her or even keep things from her. Much like her own relationship with Lorelai, Rory wanted the same bond with Hadley and they got it. They were best friends, but when she had to be Mom, she would be. Hadley shook her head, avoiding contact with her Mom. That's when Rory knew something was going on. "Sweetie, you can yell Mommy anything. Nothing is going to happen to you. You won't even be in trouble. I promise you."

"Dad would get mad when you were gone, he'd hit us." Rory felt sick to her stomach hearing that. She pulled her daughter close, pouring every ounce of love and strength into the hug. "I'm sorry Mommy."

"Sweetie it's not your fault, I promise you. I'll get this fixed. Okay?" Hadley nodded, not wanting to move from her mother's embrace.

Jess waited outside the restrooms. Today hadn't turned out like he had thought. He had assumed Rory would try to ignore him yet again after the way he had blown her off after their semi make up.

"Would you just ask her out already? I thought you guys had a history? Wouldn't that teach you, that she loves you?" Kolby asked with rapid fire, catching Jess off guard.

"What?" Jess choked out.

"It's clear as day that you love her and that she's gone banana's for you. You're pretty cool and make a way better father then my real one," Kolby shrugged, retaking his spot at the table, leaving Jess to his own mind about things. "What's wrong?" Kolby asked, seeing his sister's red puffy eyes.

"Nothing sweetie," Rory told him. She shot Jess a look saying she'd tell him later. She had never been through any of this, she didn't know what to do about any of it. Was it to late to go to the police and file a report? The last time Lance was around the kids alone was a little over a year ago.

"We ready?" Jess asked. Rory nodded, gathering the bags that contained everything they had bought. Of course Jess did help carry some as well.

The atmosphere in the car had sifted and Jess was the one behind the wheel because Rory was having a hard time focusing on anything around her. She was mad at herself for not seeing the signs sooner. But she didn't know what to look for. Hadley's attitude never changed. She was the same every day. But she should have seen it. With a quick glance at Jess, she started to wonder how many others had seen this love cross between them? Admitting even to herself that she loved Jess was hard, saying those words out loud seem pretty impossible.

On the other side of the car, Jess was having his own thoughts about what Kolby told him. Maybe it was the history between them composed with the past that kept them apart all these years, keeping him from moving forward. He knew he had to make a move, but he didn't want it to be to soon, either. He couldn't mess up this time. There was no more if one of them were to walk away.

"There's a few apartments to look at and two house's to see. You don't have to come," Rory told him, waving at her Mom as her kids ran through the door of the diner. The second the words left her mouth she wished they hadn't. So far her day with Jess had been nice. She welcomed the distraction he was from the news she had learned about Hadley.

"Rory, I'm not going anywhere. Even after all these years, I can sense that something's off. Something happened at the mall with Hadley and it's eaten away at you." He wasn't ready to leave just yet. Rory nodded, giving him a hug on impulse. She needed to feel a comfort, that everything was going to be okay. "It's going to be okay," Jess whispered, holding her right against him.


	11. Chapter 11

They stood in the last apartment, everything so far had seemed to be perfect with the place. It was a three bedroom apartment, with a spacious living room that over looked a little pond. The kitchen was gorgeous, room for a coffee maker and it was good enough for Rory. It was only a few doors from his apartment. Which he saw as perfect.

When he came here to visit the last thing he imagined was to stay his unexpended stay. But something about being back in the small town brought a comfort to him, when he didn't have since walking away years ago. He found it was easier to write here, everyone was still in bed before the sun ever left the sky. Except for the Gilmore girls. Though it wasn't very often he would catch Rory out wandering the streets. She had a few times with Kolby and Hadley.

"At least it doesn't smell like cats or dogs," Jess commented, standing next to Rory, who was looking out over the pond. "So?" He asked nudging her, when she had been quiet far to long. He wasn't sure what to make of it. So far she had been talkative and she had joked around about each place they had looked at. And now all of a sudden she had clammed up on him. At one point in their lives he wouldn't have thought anything about it, but that was then and this was now. She had a lot going through her mind. When she turned to look at him with tears quietly falling down her face, he was quick to pull her close. He rubbed her back ever so gently, giving her the comfort she was desperate to have.

"I've learned just how big of a monster _he_ really was," Rory sobbed into his chest, her arms instinctively going around his waist. "It was one thing that he abused me and this control over me, but to learn that he did the same to my kids, it makes me sick. Why didn't I notice it?" She asked, sniffling. She was their mother and she should have seen that something was going on.

"Rory, you can't blame yourself over this. You didn't know and they never let on that anything was going on. Just focus on getting him out of your lives for good and moving on, past all of this. You can't beat yourself up over this. They're fine. You got them away from him," Jess soothed, at least tried to sooth her. He didn't know what he was supposed to say. It made him sick to his stomach to think that _he_ laid hands on two little helpless kids. What kind of sick freak, does something like that?

"What if the tests come back saying they're his? What if he makes it look like I'm the bad parent in all of this? I can't stop him," she sobbed even harder, clinging onto him tighter.

"Is that why you keep putting off the appointment for the tests?" He asked, feeling her nodded her head against his chest. "Rory, there is a good chance that he may be the father, but there's a good chuck of chance that I'm the father. With your family and friends, they're not going to ship you up river. Everyone knows how amazing of a mother you are." He had no intentions of making Rory go through the paternity tests when she wasn't ready to do that. When she wasn't ready to face the truth in this whole situation. But he needed to know, he couldn't wait as long as she could. He had to know if he had kids, if he was the father to two of the most amazing kids he had ever spent time with. Not that he went around spending time with kids. He barely spent time with his own sister, but how can be at fault there? He still wasn't on good terms with Liz. He tried to be the big brother, but he could only take so much from Liz before calling it quits.

"You're right. I can't let my fear stand in the way. You might be their father. I have a pretty good feeling that you are. It was always after we were together that I found myself pregnant. You deserve to know, I'll call first thing tomorrow morning and get an appointment set up," Rory informed him, bringing a smile to his face. "And the apartment, seems to good to be true. You sure there's nothing wrong with this place? No Kirk's or anything?" She asked, staying in his embrace, resting her chin on his chest looking up into his dark brown eyes. It was his all to familiar smirk that made her heart flutter in her chest.

"I promise, no Kirk or anything like that. I have yet to find anything wrong with my place. I think it's the perfect fit for you and the kids," he told her. She nodded, standing on her tippy toes, wondering when he had grown so much taller. "Rory," he whispered, when her lips were inches from his own. She said nothing pressing his lips against his, in a tantalizing kiss.

"I think I want this place, even if you feel almighty being able to protect me a from a few doors down," she whispered, pressing her lips back against his, needing to feel more of him.

She didn't know what it meant, but she wasn't about to analyze her kiss with Jess. She was just going to let it happen. She wanted to kiss him for sometime now, she could never bring herself to actually go through with it. And now that she had, the kiss was so much better than she had remembered kissing Jess was like.


	12. Chapter 12

_Nancy, a Luke and Lorelai chapter. It took me sometime to figure out how I wanted to bring this chapter into play. I'll admit that I'm not a fan of writing Lorelai and Luke, I love them together, though. But anyway, enjoy the chapter._

* * *

"I'm just worry about her," Lorelai sighed, swishing the last remaining drops of her now ice-cold coffee around in her mug. "She's always going to be my baby girl, no matter how old or how many kids she has of her own." Luke reached across the table, placing his hand on top of his wife's, giving her the comfort she desperately needed right now.

"She has Jess with her, he's not going to let anything happen." She knew how much Jess had changed over the years since he had broken her daughter's heart and she had even become close to the once upon a time town hooligan. But she was once again on the fence when it came to him, just because her own daughter was involved and Rory had been through enough trauma in the last 10 years she didn't need any more piled on top of that when Jess realized that he wasn't cut out to be a father figure to kids that weren't even his. "You have to think positive here Lorelai."

"What's the positive, Luke?" She snapped back, on the verge of oddly enough turning into her mother in this desperate situation. She involuntary cringed at that. The last thing she wanted to be was Emily Gilmore!

"That they're not his, that everything can and will work out in our favor," he replied. Rory was just as much a daughter to him as his own son. He had been the one there on all the important days in her life. It was him that walked her down the aisle because Christopher was out of the county with Gigi and he couldn't get back in time. It was him, that help take care of her when she got sick through the years, he was there when she graduated Chilton, not Christopher. He would have gladly taken Christopher's spot when she graduated Yale. It was him that spent all night making the tent to give Rory her good-bye before her first real job after College. He was just as worried as everyone else, but someone needed to be strong, to be the pillar that held everyone up. He couldn't crack, he wasn't going to crack under the pressure.

"Rory wouldn't cheat on him. That's not who she is," Lorelai sighed, pushing the cup away from her. "Even if she did cheat on Dean with Jess, that was different," she pointed out, chewing her lip. "He's going to ruin her again and I won't stand by and let him do it to her all over again!" She yelled, slamming her fist down on the table. Jason stuck his head out of his room to see what the commotion was all about.

"Who Jess or Lance?" Luke asked, getting up to pace. Jess had completely changed, he was no longer that troubled kid he once was. Jess was doing good for himself, he was still in love with Rory, he knew that feeling all to well, it didn't matter how many years that passed by, you want who want.

"Both," Lorelai told him, getting up, standing in front of her husband. "Jess, he won't hurt or at least he won't mean to, but you can't guarantee that it won't happen. Lance, I couldn't stop him the first time, I can't just let him keep walking over my baby."

"Lorelai," Luke sighed, pulling his wife into his warm embrace, holding her tight to him, his right hand rubbing her back in soothing circles. "There is nothing we can do to stop Lance, we just have to hope that those kids aren't his. They've taken breaks before, we don't know what happened in that amount of time. We can't guarantee that Rory won't hurt him, they might be able to live happily together, as happy as us. We can't predict the future."

"Paul Anka can!" Lorelai retorted in an aha voice.

"Do you plan on bring him back from the dead?" Luke asked, dead serious, earning an eye roll from his wife.

"Now that would just be silly," Lorelai told him.

"Mom?" Jason asked, stepping from his room. He had gained the attention of both his parents. "Rory is going to be okay, she has to be. She's stronger now, because she has us there for her." Lorelai smiled at her son. She had two really amazing kids, how she got so lucky, she wasn't sure. An evil grin spread across her lips, Jason gulped hurrying back into his room. Luke didn't even have to time to ask what it was about.

"Your son came home with a note from the science teacher. It seems that he's been falling behind in science these last few weeks. Wanna have a chat with him?" Lorelai asked, batting her eyelash's. Luke kissed her nose, walking to their son's room to have that all to important father/son talk about school. Just this time he didn't have anyone in mind to tutor him like he did with Jess, not that he actually talked to Jess about being tutored by Rory, rather he had just sprung it on him, but still.

Lorelai smiled hearing the voices carry from Jason's room. She placed her cup in the sink and headed upstairs to get the laundry put away before getting ready for bed. The last few days had been hard on her. She like everyone else wanted to know if Lance really was the father. Rory had told her that she had slept with someone else on two different occasions when they were taking a break, but Rory had never told her who that guy was, or if it was the same guy. Lorelai hoped that if Lance wasn't the father, they wouldn't have to trapeze across the United States looking for the mystery lover that her daughter had slept with, let alone two different guys. She had a feeling that her son's sudden slip up in school had something to do with them putting more focus on Rory and the kids then they were giving him, but they were still giving him time, it wasn't as if they were blowing him off or anything.

"You alright?" Luke asked slipping into bed.

"Yeah, why?" she asked snuggling up to her husband. He draped his arms around her.

"You didn't make a single comment on my butt, you always make the same comment every night, unless something is eating away at you," he pointed out, showing just how much he knew his wife.

"It is a nice firm butt, even after all these years," she told him with a devilish smile. "But," she sighed, letting her head rest against his chest. "I have two kids to worry about, and most my focus is on my eldest and not on my youngest. Rory needs me, but Jason needs me just as much if not more," She confessed.

"He understands that Rory is going through a rough time right now and he really was just having trouble in school. It really wasn't making sense to him, not that I could understand, but to help keep Rory's mind off of things until the results come in, he's going to ask Rory, I would have suggested Jess, but we know how well he was in school."

"Thank you," Lorelai told him, moving so she could look up at her husband, firmly pressing a kiss to his bare hairy chest.

"It was nothing really, I love Rory as my own. I only want to see her happy," he told his wife, pulling her up, to let their lips lock together.


	13. Chapter 13

Rory wasn't sure if she should be happy or worried that Lance wasn't there to the get the results about the paternity of the kids. Jess' hand in hers gave her the strength she needed. She was thankful for having him with her. The kiss had yet to be talked about. The emotions of feeling the love that was in that one simple kiss had played all through her head for days and she wanted more, but she wasn't going to rush into anything, not again. Not with the game of hurt that they have both been apart of. She had gone through more hurt than she had ever wanted and she wasn't looking for more. But maybe just maybe it could be different. She liked to think that, but she just wasn't sure. How could you be sure that things would be different? It didn't matter how many times a person had changed and who they are. Hurt could creep in on you and you can't do anything to stop it.

"Hey," Jess said, getting her attention. Her blue eyes were clouded over with worry and a tint of pain. He wanted to read her mind to see what had really put the pain in her eyes. He had a feeling that it wasn't all from Lance. He was happy that the sick bastard wasn't there, because he really wanted to beat the douche up. But this was about Rory and he would keep his rage for Lance at bay.

"I'm okay, really," she told him, squeezing his hand. Life would have been different if things had been different between them. They had to learn how to talk things through, communicate with each other. Could they do that now? They had been ignoring the kiss. That wasn't a sure tell sigh that things would be different this time around. How much longer could she deny her feelings for the man who seemed to be by her side these last few days?

Jess gave her a softened look asking if that was true. He could see and sense that things weren't okay with her, but he wasn't going to push. Not here, he wasn't. This wasn't the place nor the time for that. They did have to clear the air. He wanted the woman sitting next to him, more than he's ever wanted anything. They had spent far too much time worrying about the past, but he had meant it when he told her he loved her, he was just a fool for running away from her that night. He wished he would have stayed and really talked things out with her. He had learned from his mistakes, every single one of them that involved Rory, he hoped that she had done the same thing. He knew things could work out this time around.

"It's nerve-wracking, but I'm okay, honestly," she told him, taking a shaking breath. They were going to learn the truth in just a few moments, the truth that was either going to ruin their future or make it better for them.

"Ya know it's nerve-wracking for me as well," he told her, holding his free hand up. "Sweaty palms and all," he told her, wiping it on his pant leg. "Despite what happens here, Rory, everything is going to turn out fine. We'll over come everything we need to, to give those two kids everything they deserve," hearing him say that, showed her that he was going to be sticking around for the unforeseeable future and she was excited to see where it was going to go. "Especially the happiness they need growing up." The happiness that had been taken from him when he was a child, thanks to Jimmy skipping out on him and his mother being a flake when it came to three things in her life. They day she sent him away had been the best day of his young life, now that he had a chance to actually look back on it. "If and that's a big if, Rory, if he is the father..."

"I'll take him to court," Rory stated. "I have the money my grandparents left for me. What better way to use it then to make Lance suffer and to make sure _our_ kids don't have to deal with him," Rory told him, taking him off guard by calling Hadley and Kolby their kids. That had to mean something. Just the thought of them being his, made him smile like a mad man.

"He'll suffer, Rory. No doubt about that. Our kids will have the best childhood imaginable," He told her, seeing the pain melt from her blue eyes watching the happiness sprout through them. Their kids. He liked the ring of that.

"They will," she whispered, loving the sound of our kids fall from Jess' lips. She had no doubt once again that Jess was going to be proved the father of both of them. It was the only option that made sense to her.

"Sorry, we're running behind, but I was just informed that Lance won't be able to join us, but his lawyer Mr. Harrington will be here any second. Do you either of you have any questions?" Rory looked at Jess, the only questions she had running through her mind were about him and this wasn't the place to start talking about that and working things out. There was something inside of her that had shifted sitting here with Jess. It was his warmth that gave her the comfort she needed.

Jess felt the same way. He knew that they would have to talk and get things out of the way. He wanted to be the one to fix her broken state. "Not at this time," he informed Mrs. Wilson. She smiled and opened her folder and ran over a few things with them. They nodded along, learning on what to expect in just a few minutes. The possibilities growing within them.

* * *

"_Come on, man. We know the answer already," Chris told him trying to be serious only to break out in a laughter fit seconds later._

"_You love her, you never stopped," Matt told him seriously, shaking his head at Chris._

"_Yeah, you ran away from her because you were scared, what's holding you back now?" Chris asked, regaining his composure._

"_Life," Jess muttered, looking at the can of beer in his hands._

"_Life is always going to be there, Jess. You have to work around that." He knew that much, but it wasn't as easy as they were making it out to be. They didn't know Rory, they didn't know how far past broke she really was. He really thought that Hadley and Kolby were the only thing keeping her glued together._

"_Just man up and tell her you love her already. What's the worst that could happen?" Matt asked. Jess sighed. She could run like he had, but she wouldn't be running scared, no she would be running from the heartbreak that was sure to follow. He didn't think he could be the one to cause her any more pain in her life. But what if he was the one talking that pain away for good, showing her that love was everything she had ever dreamt that it could be?_

"_You're not getting any younger man, take a risk on love," Chris informed him. Could he risk Rory again?_

"I just think that we should figure out where we are, before we tell the kids any of this," Rory told him, speaking some of the words she had wanted to since she had finally realized her feelings for Jess. They scared her, but she was tried of running from him. Jess nodded, looking at her from his side of the car. Could he risk it?

"Rory, I love you, I don't think I've stopped." Damn right he could.


End file.
